I didn’t make it to a charity shop today to buy a book, as per yesterday’s blog post. I did, however, make some hefty progress on the problematic book two of my series, so I’m happy enough regardless, and stuff the rest of you.
Tomorrow I will go and buy my non-familiar-genre, second-hand novel. Tonight, I will go to Tesco and buy cheese, because we’ve run out. Sorry, that wasn’t supposed to go into this post, I was just thinking out loud.
I’ve realised I haven’t given you any more updates on the progress of Gangrene. That’s because there aren’t really any updates to give. It’s still being inked and coloured. Then it has to be lettered. Then it has to be licked by elves. Just a little tradition of mine.
I watched Misery on TV last night. First time I’d ever seen it. Kathy Bates is one scary woman. I knew the bit with the hammer was coming, but Jesus, it looked painful. I actually felt sorry for James Caan - something I thought was impossible after once having to sit through 40 minutes of Mickey Blue Eyes.
Anyway, that’s yer lot for tonight. I have a lantern festival to attend.
Today, I had an idea. Not an idea that’s going to change the world or anything, but an idea I think is good all the same. Here it comes now.
I’m going to buy a book.
Bear with it, it gets more interesting.
I’m going to buy a book from a charity shop.
Huh? Huh? What, you want more? Okay, here’s the clincher:
I’m going to buy a book from a charity shop in a genre I wouldn’t normally read.
That shut you up, didn’t it? There was you thinking “Barry, you’ve lost your mind, what are you on about?” and now look at you. Sitting there agog, probably with your mouth hanging slightly open, as the sheer brilliance of my idea slowly sinks in.
Yes, tomorrow I’m going to go to a charity shop, and I’m going to buy a book which I would not normally even think about purchasing. And then I’m going to read it, otherwise the whole exercise would be largely pointless.
The way I see it is this:
1) I’m doing something for charity
2) I’m getting a book cheap
3) I’m stepping outside my literary comfort zone, and opening myself to potentially a whole new world of reading adventure.
also, 4) I’m getting out of the house and having actual interaction with another human being who isn’t a member of my immediate family.
I don’t work Sundays. Not for any religious reasons or owt, just because I’ve promised myself one day off a week. So not blog posting today. Except this one.
Way back on April 1st, I posted my first Writing Lesson. In it, I encouraged you to do a bungee jump. Okay, so it wasn’t the most conventional of writing lessons, but it had a point. If you haven’t read it and you’re an aspiring writer, I encourage you to go check it out. We’ll all wait here until you get back.
If you have already read it, then you’ve probably been eagerly awaiting lesson 2 for some months. Well, here, at last, it is. Sit back, read, and contemplate the wisdom of …
Barry’s Writing Lesson #2: Use Public Transport
There are many reasons for the aspiring writer to use public transport. It’s cheaper than running a car, for one. It’s environmentally friendly, for another.
More important than your finances or the future of Planet Earth, though, is the fact that using public transport can dramatically improve your writing.
“But how?” I hear you say (because I have a Wordpress plugin which lets me hear through your computer’s microphone). Well settle down, I’m about to explain all.
Virtually all of life’s rich tapestry can be found on public transport. I have overheard conversations on buses which have inspired entire novels. The second screenplay I ever wrote - MAKING A KILLING - featured two characters who were based on a couple of lads I was unfortunate enough to sit behind on a train from Inverness to Aberdeen.
Even if the bus or train you’re on is completely silent, take a look at the people on board - don’t stare, though, they’ll think you’re a nutter. Ask yourself questions about them. Why is the guy in the suit holding onto a tatty old rucksack? How did the woman across the aisle end up with her arm in a sling? Why is the little boy at the next table crying?
Make up your own answers based on what you see. Flesh the more interesting ideas out. Team two or more passengers together and figure out what kind of scenario could bring them together in the world outside the bus or train.
The more you embellish the details, the more your characters will stray away from the probable reality of the people on board. That’s fine. You’re not trying to accurately figure out who these people are, you’re just using them as a springboard to creating characters.
So that’s it. Writing Lesson #2. It was short, but hopefully it’ll help some of you come up with new characters, and from those will spring new stories to dazzle and enthrall us all.
I popped into my local bookshop today and took the photo below. Everyone present looked at me like I was a maniac. You’d think they’d never seen an unshaven man take a photograph of a child’s book before.
Unfortunately I still can’t reveal any of the details of the book deal I landed recently, so this post is probably going to be a little vague in places.
What I can say, though, is that I’m currently in the process of writing book two in the series. This is the first time I’ve ever tried writing a direct sequel (or next installment, in this case) to anything I’ve written, and it’s proving more difficult than I thought.
You’d think the hard work would already be done. Most of the characters have been developed. The situation is in place. It should really just be a case of sticking in the new stuff, giving it all a bit of a shake, and waiting for the completed novel to emerge, right?
Sadly not. Yes, I probably could do something along the lines of the above, but would I be doing the book and the series justice? No.
Because characters change and grow. My protagonist is not the same character at the end of book one as he is at the start of it. None of the characters are, so I need to readjust my thinking on them all. Essentially I need to relearn everything there is to know about them.
Book two also can’t just be more of the same as book one. So I have to take the premise of the series which was established in book one, and continue it in such a way that it doesn’t just feel like more of the same.
But ignoring all the technical aspects of plotting and writing for a moment, there’s something much more basic making it difficult to progress with book two: Confidence.
Book one - if I say so myself - is a good book. It’s gripping, fast-paced, and probably my proudest writing achievement so far. Because of this, I’m nervous about book two. Will it be as good? Ideally it’ll be better, as the initial set-up of the series concept will be done, and it can hit the ground running.
Honestly, though? I don’t know. Even though I think the story of this book is potentially much, much better than that of book one, I’m scared I won’t do as good a job of it.
Yes, it’s probably stupid. Yes, it’s just fear talking, but there it is.
Still, that said, after walking back from dropping my son at school today I had a fantastic idea that’ll really help energise the whole plot. I’m off to get stuck into it now. I’m making the protagonist of the series face up to his deepest, darkest fears in this book. It’s only fair that I do the same.
I’m writing a short story for possible inclusion in a new anthology at the moment. It’s a gritty, realistic piece, about two boys in inner city Glasgow, and touches on various ‘grown-up’ subjects. One of these is drugs.
Now, never having been involved in drugs myself, I’m having to do a lot of reading up. I’m learning a lot of things I didn’t know. Through it all, one thought keeps striking me. Maybe it’s my age or something, but I can’t help but feel that drugs don’t sound as good as soup.
So, in order to prove this point, here’s 10 Reasons Why Soup is Better than Drugs
1. Soup comes in a wide range of flavours.
2. You can buy soup in most supermarkets, and many corner shops.
3. No matter how much soup you consume, the Russian Mafia will not take an interest.
4. The second container of soup you buy is unlikely to be thirty times more expensive than the first.
5. It is rare for dog-worming tablets or washing powder to be used to ‘pad-out’ soup.
6. When you have soup, you can be reasonably confident it has never been hidden up someone’s bum.
7. Bringing soup into Singapore does not carry the risk of being shot dead on sight.
8. Soup won’t cause you to dance around like a mental patient. Unless it’s too hot, obviously. Even then, you’re unlikely to keep dancing for eighteen hours straight.
9. There’s a reason The Verve never released a single called “The Soup Don’t Work”. It’s because soup does work, consistently and without fail.
10. You can’t dunk bread in cocaine.
So, for anyone thinking of dabbling in drugs, I hope this has helped convince you otherwise. Go grab yourself a bowl of Chicken Noodle or Carrot and Coriander instead. You’ll feel better for it in the long run. And probably the short run, too.
Today is a historic day. (Notice I didn’t write an historic day like some people do? That’s because the letter H is many things, but one of the things it is very much not is a vowel. Some people would do well to remember that fact).
Anyway, today is a historic day. Today, the United States will vote in their 44th President, and there’s a very good chance he’s going to be black. For many reasons, I hope Obama wins. The most minor of these reasons is the colour of his skin. I think it’d be a testament for how far racial equality has come if Obama became the most powerful man on the planet.
More importantly, though, I think he’d make the better President. I also admire the fact he hasn’t really resorted to the same mud-slinging the McCain camp has used in the run-up to the election. And he’s a fan of Superman. That wins my vote any time, because a fan of Superman is by default a fan of Truth and Justice. It also means we could chat about comics if we ever found ourselves stuck in a lift together.
Anyway, what better way to commemorate the importance of the US Presidential Election, than by posting a video of Skeletor and Evil Lyn singing Meatloaf’s Dead Ringer for Love? If there’s a more appropriate way of marking the occasion, I’ve yet to hear it.
I made this video clip a couple of years back for my old Random Rant website. It’s high time it got another airing.
The blog seems to have been a bit lacking in posts lately, so I’m setting myself a challenge. For the month of November I will be writing at least one new post every day. I’ll say that again in bold for the visually impaired: A new post every day!
Now I’m making no guarantees on the quality or length of the posts. They might be two lines, they might be a thousand. They might be witty and interesting, they might be me going “mmmmmeh mmmmeh mmmmeh k-tish!” over and over again until you wish you were dead, but they will be posts, and they will be appearing every day. That’s all I can promise at this stage.
