It got me thinking that maybe I use some other software that other writers aren’t aware or, or have never found time to try. And so concludes the largely unnecessary backstory for this post.

Over the next few days I’ll be revealing some of the apps and software I use regularly. I find them all helpful in one way or another, and so there’s a good chance you might get some use out of them, too.

Without further ado, then, let’s get to the first two.

1. Evernote
There are literally… um… many apps out there for note-taking, but Evernote is the mac daddy of them all. I first installed it on my iPhone about a year back, mucked about with it for a few minutes, then thought nothing more of it.

It wasn’t until a few weeks later when I was bored and sitting in my car outside a school (which isn’t as sinister as it sounds, honest) that I decided to play about with the app a bit more.

At its heart, Evernote is simply a bit of software that allows you to type notes and save them. That would be reasonably useful in and of itself, but it’s everything else Evernote does around that central concept that sets it apart.

Want to create folders for all your projects? No problem. I set up two folders in my Evernote – one called The 13th Horseman, and one called The Book of Doom. All my thoughts about each book went into their respective folders, keeping things nice and tidy.

But here’s where Evernote really shines, because as well as filing your notes you can tag them. Whenever I added a note about a character I tagged it with that character’s name. I did the same with locations. I also added the tags “characters” and “locations”. This meant with a single click I could bring up a list of my notes on my characters – descriptions, lines of dialogue, personality outlines, etc – with a single click, or I could choose one – War, say, and find notes on him from both The 13th Horseman folder and The Book of Doom.

Even this is just scratching the surface, though. Evernote also allows you to take audio notes (handy when an idea strikes while on the move) and insert photographs into your notes, too. It then lets you scribble on those photographs to add comments, circle important areas – whatever you like.

But this is where it gets REALLY good. Brace yourself.

If you’re anything like me you have a number of notebooks lying around, each with a few pages full of notes and ideas. They inevitably either A) clutter the place up completely or B) get lost. Well no more – Evernote lets you photograph those handwritten notes, and then thanks to the application of powerful magic by the company’s wizards (or something) those notes then become searchable just like normal text! Search for any of the words written in those notes and up comes the picture of your note alongside any typed notes you’ve made containing the search term.

And did I mention the whole thing syncs your phone, tablet, desktop, laptop – pretty much anything you like? It’s available for Android and iOS and if you only check out one entry on this list, make it this one.

2. Dropbox
Something else I’d struggle to cope without these days is Dropbox. Unlike Evernote, which is crammed full of great features, Dropbox really just does one thing, but it does it better than anyone else, in my opinion.

When you install Dropbox it creates a folder on your computer. Anything you put in that folder – photos, audio files, or in my case manuscripts – are automatically synchronised with the Dropbox server in the background. You just save it in the folder like you would any other, and quietly and without any fuss Dropbox will back it up.

If, like me, you work from a number of different devices, you can install Dropbox on all those, too. This means that if you save a file in the Dropbox folder on your desktop, it becomes available in the Dropbox folder on all your other devices, and vice versa. It means I never have to worry about losing files, and don’t have to faff about copying files to USB sticks to transfer between desktop and laptop.

Dropbox also keeps backups of files in case you accidentally delete them. If you somehow manage to save over your current Work in Progress with 200 pages of “All work and no play makes Barry a dull boy” have no fear, because Dropbox has kept every previous version you saved, and can restore it with a few clicks of a mouse.

There are other services similar to Dropbox – Skydrive from Microsoft and Google Drive being just two – but Dropbox managed to establish itself before these two came along, and as such it feels a bit more polished than the others. Lots of other apps and software now link in to Dropbox, too. For example, every photo I take on my Android phone is automatically backed up to my Dropbox account – handy if my phone ever gets lost or stolen.

Add in the fact you can share folders within your Dropbox with friends or colleagues – or even make them public – and you can see why I consider this another must-have bit of software. You can grab 2GB of storage space completely free, and earn up to 14GB more just by referring friends, so go get started now.

Come back tomorrow when I’ll be revealing two more pieces of software I’ve developed unhealthy attachments to.

So I picked four lovely bloggers and asked them send me a post on any subject under the sun. It could be book-related, or it could be something utterly random. My first swapper, Sister Spooky, has embraced that second option with both arms…

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I’m a fan of many things and they filter into my life on a daily basis.  Some of you that know me online or in real life will no doubt know of the Muppet flail.  I adore The Muppets and grew up watching them and I think it’s a dream of mine still to meet Kermit the Frog, Gonzo, Fozzie Bear and the gang.  I would love to see them up close.  I was even had a tweet from the REAL Kermit the Frog.  I did the Muppet flail that time too.  I can remember watching “Muppets Take Manhattan” over and over on the VCR and the tape was warped by the end of it all.  You can’t help but love The Muppets.  

So to explain the Muppet Flail I should tell you how it came into existence (in my life anyway).  It happened in a car wash.

I was in my mum’s car on the way to the supermarket with her some years ago. We’d stopped off for petrol and Mum decided to get the car washed while we had the time.  We sat in the car and Mum eased into the car wash bay and the cycle began.  We were chit chatting away and then for some reason the Muppet flail came into conversation.  I think I was excited about something and I’d said I was doing a Muppet flail inside about it.  Mum asked what I meant and so I did the Muppet flail for her in the car wash.  She burst out laughing.  I flapped my arms about wildly and shook my head from side to side and did the famed Kemit “yaaaaay” noise and so the Muppet flail was born.

I probably wasn’t the first person to do this and won’t be the last but now I’ve kinda become known for doing the Muppet flail.  I even get demands for it to be performed in person.  

The Muppet flail is a physical form of sheer delight and not only does it bring joy to those that see it but it brings me much happiness to do it.  Even if my arms get tired.  It’s like 1000 Tigger’s bouncing around in my belly and my head having a fireworks display inside it.  It is something I urge you all to try.  Go on.  Think of something exciting and then have your arms loose and shake your whole body like a kid that’s just been told they get to live in Disneyland inside the Magic Kingdom castle.

Feel better?  

Good.

*MUPPET FLAIL*

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Don’t forget to check out Sister Spooky’s blog, where you’ll find my blog post waiting for you.

For those with no experience of video production, this can be a hugely daunting thought, and many authors simply won’t bother with a video, and so lose out on the audience a decent book trailer might help capture.

Alternatively, they might turn to one of the many companies that have sprung up offering book trailer production services. Never having dealt with any of these companies myself, I have no idea how good or bad they are, but generally speaking you get what you pay for, so a good trailer likely won’t come cheap.

Being both A) a canny Scot, and B) completely skint, I took the DIY route and made a couple of trailers for two of my books - Invisible Fiends: Mr Mumbles and The Book of Doom. I’m not an expert on the subject by any means, but I thought it might be useful to share what I did in the hope it helps anyone looking to make their own book trailer.

Today we’re going to take a look at my first attempt. This was the trailer for my debut novel, Mr Mumbles, which tells the story of… well, hopefully the trailer will spell it out for you. Take a look-see below.

I made that video over 3 years ago, and I learned a lot both producing it and in the years since. I wanted it to be very cinematic and creepy – whether I succeeded in that or not, I’ll leave up to you to decide.

In terms of production costs, it didn’t cost me a penny. I shot it using an old video camera early in the new year, just before the Christmas tree was due to come down. The only person involved in the shoot was me, so for the shot when Mr Mumbles appears in the doorway I set the camera up on a tripod, stuck on a hat and grabbed the axe. Then I edited it all together using a version of iMovie I had installed on an old Mac (although you could use the free Windows Movie Maker software if you’re on a PC) and whacked it up on YouTube.

The two main things I discovered during the process of producing the trailer were:

1. My camera didn’t handle low light very well.
There were a couple of shots that I had to brighten considerably during editing, and they now look out of place with the rest of the footage. There are a few bits that go weirdly “blocky” too – not hugely visible on the small picture size, but more noticeable in full screen mode.

2. I shouldn’t have used a copyrighted song for the soundtrack!
This has caused me no end of problems since the video went up, as YouTube altered and altered again their copyrighted content policies. For a while the video had no sound at all (and still doesn’t in some countries). Now it has sound back, but a big banner advert gets slapped on it a few seconds after the video starts playing in most territories. Yes, you can close the ad, but it’s still a big garishly coloured distraction on the screen. Sigh.

In general, I should have shot much more footage than I did. The tree was literally coming down the next day, and we’d already taken down most of the Christmas decorations, so some of the “Christmassy” shots I got were really scraping the bottom of the barrel.

HOW COULD I HAVE SOLVED THESE PROBLEMS?
More time, basically. I should have planned the thing out better to make sure the room looked properly festive. Had I done that I could’ve set up the table to look like it had been laid out for Christmas dinner, had torn wrapping paper all over the floor, etc, etc. It had snowed heavily a few days prior to me shooting it – why didn’t I get some footage of the house from outside, with snow on the ground? An opportunity wasted.

Had I spent a bit more time researching then I could’ve found some good copyright free music to use (although the track I used is actually referenced in the book, so it fits well).

IN SUMMARY
Making this trailer took around 10 hours of work, including editing. I have no idea if it helped sell a single book, but then it’s hard to tell if any marketing efforts are effective, so I consider it time well spent.

My advice to people considering attempting their own video would be to go for it and see what happens. People who are interested in buying your book are unlikely to be put off by a home made trailer, so provided you don’t spend a fortune on it, there’s virtually no risk involved and you may bring in some new readers.

Come back soon when I’ll be talking about my trailer for The Book of Doom, which I put together without once leaving my desk. I’ll also be sharing some links to various tutorials and resources to help you get your own book trailer safely in the can.

The reason I’m not really surprised by this figure is that I’ve done my own research on the matter, although nowhere near as scientifically as I’m sure Booktrust has. Despite writing for older age groups, I often get asked to “do a wee talk” to the lower primary school age groups, and whenever I do I ask them to put their hands up if they get read to at home. A heartening number – around 75% in most cases, although sometimes significantly lower – put their hands up. When I ask them to keep their hands up if their dad is the one who does the reading, almost all of those hands go back down.

As a dad myself, I fail to understand why this should be the case. Reading to my own children has always been a special time for me – a time when the rest of the world is blocked out, leaving me free to ignore my pressing workload, forget my worries, and get lost in a story with my child. It’s genuinely one of the highlights of my day, and the actual reading bit is only a small part of it. We talk – about the book and about other things – we laugh, we make plans and we share dreams and we get to know one another just a little bit better.

25% of dads surveyed say work demands make it impossible for them to read more to their children. Like them, work demands mean I’m often locked away writing, or off on tour, and I regularly find myself feeling guilty over not being able to spend as much time with my kids as I’d like.

But a heavy workload isn’t an excuse not to read to your child, a heavy workload is just all the more reason to make the time to read to them. I benefit from reading to my children as much as they do, and perhaps even more so. It relaxes me, rejuvenates me, and reminds me what I’m working for in the first place.

My ten-year-old is now too cool to be read to at bedtime, but whenever I finish writing a new book I make sure I read it to him first. I tell him it’s so he can give me his honest opinion, but really it’s so we can hang out, have a laugh, and relive all those years when I sat at the side of his bed, introducing him to new worlds and new ideas.

So dads everywhere I implore you – for both your sake and the sake of your children – read them a story tonight. Choose a book together and take ten minutes out of your day. You’ll thank me for it, I guarantee it.

Find out more about Booktrust’s Get Dad’s Reading campaign.

I’m reasonably confident this is him. Thanks Google Images.

Social media was all a-twitter the other day (see what I did there?) over news that England and Chelsea footballer, Frank Lampard, is to write a series of five books for children, to be published by Little, Brown later this year.

Based on my observation and a highly unscientific survey I conducted on my Facebook page, suggests reaction to the news has been fairly negative – particularly among children’s authors. There have been a lot of “he’s nicking our jobs” comments flying around, and I can absolutely see why. I mean, you don’t see Philip Ardagh playing left back for Arsenal (at least, not any more), so why should Frank Lampard be writing children’s books?

There has been outrage that yet another “celebrity” has been given a pile of money to put their name on a book they’ll likely play very little part in writing, while genuinely talented yet struggling mid-list authors produce quality book after quality book, but can only dream of seeing their name in a national newspaper.

Some commentators – again, many of whom are authors – have already decided the books are going to be laughably awful – lowest common denominator guff without an ounce of literary merit.

And hey, maybe they’re right, but then literary merit often isn’t enough to convince a reluctant reader to pick up a book. In fact, it can be the very thing that puts them off in the first place. I also don’t think it’s productive when us booky people come over all snobbish and uppity, sneering down at celeb-written and TV tie-in titles as not worth the paper they’re printed on.

Barring the odd terrorist manual and the like, there are very few genuinely “bad” books out there. Beast Quest, for example, reads like a pile of old guff to me, and yet they introduced millions of children to the joys of reading.

These are books about football for five-year-olds, written by a big-name football star. Whether he writes them himself or they’re ghost-written by someone not being paid nearly enough, his name will be there on the front cover, and for some boys that might be enough for them to give it a go. From there those kids might go on to read other football books by the likes of Alan Gibbons, Helena Pielichaty or Tom Palmer. From there they may go on to read other books about something other than football, or they might only read about football, or they might never read another book again in their entire lives.

But they’ll have read something. And that’s important.

At school I was a booky kid. I read lots, and actively went out of my way to avoid football in all its forms. These books would not have appealed to me. Some of the other boys in my class were football kids. They could reel off every statistic from the past ten seasons, but steered clear of books wherever possible. Would these books have appealed to all of those kids? Probably not. Would they have appealed to some of them? Definitely.

Whether we like it or not, footballers are role models for vast numbers of boys across the UK and around the world. The success of the National Literacy Trust’s brilliant Premier League Reading Stars programme shows the impressive results that can be achieved by combining football and reading. Frank Lampard’s book deal may help further that good work, and I fail to see what’s bad about that. No, he’ll almost certainly never win the Carnegie (although you never know) but Carnegie winners rarely draw in the sports mad non-readers.

And let’s not forget about the effect all this may have on the perception of writing among boys of a certain age. So many schools I go to are full of boys who think writing is something girls and geeks do, so having a proper footballer who has scored goals and everything talking about his love of making up stories may help to chip away at those particular misconceptions

Yes, I’m insanely jealous of the money he will no doubt earn from this, and of the wall to wall coverage his books have already had this week a lone, but do I resent the fact it has happened? Not at all. New readers brought in by Lampard means more readers in general and I for one welcome that.

What do you think? Is all this idealist claptrap or do you agree with my thoughts on it? Will you be buying Lampard’s books, or avoiding them like the plague? Let me know in the comments below.

So settle down, grab a toffee apple, and prepare to discover the terrifying secret of Doc Mortis’ Musical Taste!

If you’ve read the fourth, fifth or sixth book in the series you’ll be aware that the villain of book four - Doc Mortis - is obsessed with the song “The Teddy Bears Picnic”, and the track haunts Kyle and the other characters in the series, acting as a signal that Doc is near. Doc also sings it himself sometimes, usually when getting ready to torture his victims as seen here…

Somewhere, off to my left, another drawer gave a metal squeak as it was heaved open. I tried to look in the direction of the sound, but my eyes couldn’t swivel far enough. I could hear the man singing, tunelessly, below his breath.

‘If you go down in the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise,’ he sang, dragging out every word. ‘If you go down in the woods today, you’d better go in disguise.’

‘Wh-who are you?’ I asked, my voice shaking. ‘What do you want?’

‘For every bear that ever there was, will gather there for certain because…’

His feet scuffed on the floor right beside me. I pulled hard against the straps, but the leather only dug deeper into my flesh until I couldn’t take the pain any longer.

‘Untie me! Let me go!’

He appeared above me again, his wide face little more than a silhouette against the overhead light. The smell of soap and disinfectant filled my head as he leaned in close. The last line of the song was a slow, scratchy whisper in my ear.

‘Today’s the day the teddy bears have their piiiicnic.’

So why is a deranged imaginary friend who loves to operate on people while they’re awake so hooked on that particular song? For that, we must travel back in a swooshy, wiggly line sort of way to 2009 when, on a dark January night, I was putting my then six-year-old son to bed.

I had just finished tucking him in when music started to play out from under his bed. And not just any music. It was this track right here…

Can you imagine the effect that had in the otherwise silent darkened room? My natural instinct was to run and slam the door, hoping that by sacrificing my son I could buy a few moments to escape. It’s what he would want me to do. Probably.

Clearly I haven’t watched enough horror films, though, because instead of running away from the creepy noise, I decided to investigate and reached a hand slowly into the shadowy space beneath the bed. By rights I should have been pulled under and murdered by some monstrous entity there, but as luck would have it I wasn’t. Instead, my hand found this.

Looks harmless enough, right? Just a cuddly soft toy that doubles as a functioning radio. Nothing to worry about, right?

I’d agree completely, if it weren’t for the fact that A) the radio switched itself on entirely of its own accord, B) it came to life just as the first note of the above song began to play, and C) IT HADN’T WORKED IN OVER A YEAR PRIOR TO THAT MOMENT!

It may sound silly to those who weren’t there to experience it for themselves, but it was a genuinely terrifying moment and by the time my heart had started beating again several minutes later, I knew I had to use it in the Invisible Fiends series. As soon as I started writing Doc Mortis I knew I’d found a perfect fit for what is without question the creepiest version of an already pretty creepy children’s song.

So, when you read Doc Mortis in future, the version in the video above is the one I want you to hear in your head. I think you’ll find the book is all the creepier for it…

Buy Doc Mortis on Amazon.

“Casey Garrett died, aged ten, alone and in the dark.”

There you have it. One down, thousands to go.

I’d also like to stress that by “piracy” I mean the type that involves copyright infringement, not boats and eyepatches. The type of piracy that involves the selling and/or free distribution of another person’s work without their permission.

It has been the scourge of Hollywood pretty much since home video arrived on the scene and people started passing around knock off VHS copies of movies, but it’s increasingly becoming something the book publishing industry is having to deal with.

The reason I’m writing this post is because I wonder if it’s such a terrible thing. As an author, I of course rely on book sales to allow me to feed my family and keep them alive, so I’m all for people buying my books. I positively encourage it. In fact, don’t bother reading the rest of this post, go buy one of my books and read it instead. It’ll entertain you immensely, while simultaneously making you more popular with your peers.

So buying books = good for authors. That’s that established. But does that mean downloading books is bad for authors? Is it possible that pirated books could lead to an increase in sales overall for authors? It could be regarded as free marketing, and in many ways it isn’t much different from library borrowing, surely?

Yes, the libraries obviously buy a copy to begin with, but that may then be loaned out twenty or thirty times over, if not more. Authors do get a small payment when their books are borrowed, but this only currently applies to physical books, not ebooks or audio books. Also, lots of libraries are being handed over to volunteers, and the government has said authors will receive no money from books loaned out by these libraries.

Is piracy merely the charity book shop of the 21st century? I know people who never buy books new and only buy them from charity shops. An author receives no money for this. Some charity shops even put stickers on their books encouraging those buying them to return them once they’ve finished, so the shop can sell it again. One original sale for the author, potentially several more for the charity shop. Isn’t piracy almost exactly the same?

Or does it all come down to numbers? One book from a charity shop may feasibly be resold a dozen times at the very most, whereas a digital file can be downloaded thousands upon thousands of times. But there are around ten thousand charity shops in the UK. If they all sell the same book multiple times you’ve potentially got a hundred thousand sales for which the author doesn’t see a single penny.

Am I suggesting we ban charity shops from selling books? Of course not. I buy lots of books in charity shops, and am more than happy for mine to be sold in there. I want as many people as possible to read my work, and I know from emails I’ve received that some of my biggest fans have stumbled upon my work in a charity shop then gone on to buy the rest of my books.

And of course I’m not against libraries either. Quite the opposite. Read this post to find out just some of the reasons why I love ‘em.

Do I endorse piracy? Absolutely not. In an ideal world it wouldn’t happen. Everyone would buy my books in print from a local bookshop and read them religiously every day until they were forced to buy new copies from all the wear and tear, but we don’t (alas) live in an ideal world, and piracy is here to stay. Hollywood hasn’t been able to stamp it out, and they’ve got Robocop and Batman working for them.

All I’m asking is, do we need to be too worried about it? Is it really going to spell the end for the publishing industry, or will it all even itself out in the end? I’d love to hear thoughts authors and readers alike. Got something to say? Post it in the comments below.

In tribute to our fallen friend and colleage, Sir Jimmy Savile, who sadly passed away… um… recently, here’s an old article I wrote for a spoof news website I used to run, The Observant. I can think of no more fitting a tribute.

SIR JIMMY SAVILE SECURES GRAND NATIONAL VICTORY

First published Sat 8th April 2006

Bookmakers up and down the country were facing record payouts this afternoon, after 200-1 outsider, Sir Jimmy Savile OBE, came from behind to claim a surprise victory at the 159th Grand National at Aintree.

Savile (80) – the only competitor to race without a horse – managed to finish a full six lengths ahead of second place, Numbersixvalverde, despite stumbling and almost falling at the 25th fence after a clumsy collision with the Peter Bowen trained Ballycassidy.

Though a long time marathon veteran, this was Savile’s first attempt at the National, and pundits had all but dismissed his chances due to his age and recent race form.  At one point earlier today Ladbrokes were posting odds of 350-1 against the former Jim’ll Fix It presenter finishing in first place, though these had dropped by the time the race was due to begin.

Only one racing expert – Channel 4′s John Francome – marked the ex-Radio 1 DJ as worth watching:

“I knew the rain on Friday night would have deadened the ground a bit, just the way Savile likes it,” Francome told us after the race, “and when I spoke to him a few hours before the start he seemed relaxed and confident, but with a real desire to win burning in his eyes.”

Click the image below to read my Apocalypse Dos and Don’ts. You’ll thank me for it some day.