BarryHutchison.com

Well, despite the mild panic demonstrated in my last video blog, I’m happy to report that the launch events for Mr Mumbles went brilliantly. There were four events – two around the Glasgow area, and another two in and around Edinburgh.

On Tuesday I visited St Bernard’s Primary in Glasgow, where I spoke to the Primary 6 & 7 classes. Because it was my first event I was a bit nervous, but I hope I managed to cover it up by rambling on about squirrels for a bit, then talking about the world’s largest poo.

After St Bernard’s it was over to St Michael’s in Moodiesburn, North Lanarkshire. This was a big event, with just under 200 pupils from two schools piling into the hall to listen to me. I was feeling a bit more relaxed about it by this point, having survived the first event. The kids were asking such great questions I really didn’t want the event to end, but end it did – after half an hour or more of book signing!

Once I’d finished at St Bernard’s I was whisked off to Edinburgh, where I checked in to the amazing Tigerlily hotel. That night I met my editor, Nick, for the first time, which was great. We discovered a shared appreciation for He-Man, and I found out that Nick used to read a website I created back in 2000/2001. Small world, and all that.

The next day was just as jam-packed, kicking off with a 3 school event at the Scottish Book Trust. The audience were really charged up and into the event, and as a result it was probably the most successful event of the lot. You can see some photos from the event if you click here.

Finally, after a quick lunch (well, a chocolate brownie and a cuppa in the Scottish Storytelling Centre), I rushed over to Whitburn Academy, the first secondary school I’ve ever visited. Although I had been told, I hadn’t properly realised that I was going to be talking to older kids, so I had to hurriedly adapt my ‘talk’ so it better suited the age group. It seemed to work well, as the pupils seemed to really enjoy the event, and you literally would not have been able to hear a pin drop in the audience when I was reading an extract of the book to them.

On Monday night I was dreading doing the events. By Wednesday afternoon I was wishing I could do more. It’s a fantastic buzz getting out there and talking to potential readers, and I’m not sure whether they or I will have enjoyed it more. Roll on the UK-wide tour (more details to be revealed soon!)

To finish this post, here’s a review I was sent by journalist Jayne Howarth. It appeared in this week’s Birmingham Post, and Jayne was good enough to scan it and email it over. Cheers, Jayne!

Click the image to make it bigger. Otherwise it might be tricky to read…

Mr Mumbles has been give a review in the Liverpool Echo. I’d tell you about it, but it’s probably easier if you read it yourself!

I think it has now more or less been decided that my official author photo is the one below. You can click the image to make it larger, though why you would want to do such a thing is beyond me.

You talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to ME?

I hate getting my photograph taken. It makes me feel uncomfortable to the point I lose all control of my facial muscles. I also get so stressed out I gain half a stone in weight in the time it takes for the shutter to snap shut. At least, I think that’s why I always have a big balloon face in pictures. Then again, maybe it’s just time I stopped eating cakes for breakfast.

The photo above I would classify as “the best of a bad bunch”. Actually, the phrase “bad bunch” doesn’t do the other pictures justice, but there’s no such saying as “the best of a hideously deformed and somewhat unsettling bunch”. This is one of only three pictures in which I didn’t look like I’d been whanged in the face with a shovel just before the camera went click.

I don’t know why it is, but whenever I’m getting my photo taken some change comes over me that I’m helpless to prevent. I try to do the whole “relaxed smile” thing, but for some reason I always come out blinking, or sneering, or looking like I’m suffering a brain aneurysm before the photographer’s horrified eyes. I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, a photogenic person.

You know what the worst thing about not being photogenic? My fellow unphotogenic will know exactly what I mean here. When you see a photo of yourself looking particularly mongy and messed up – maybe you’ve got one eye shut and some drool on your chin, or maybe you’re inexplicably playing a tuba – whatever it is that’s wrong, it’s enough to make you fall to your knees and cry “oh for god’s sake, noooo!”

And that’s the moment when it happens. That’s the moment some friend or loved one says:  ”What? I thought it was quite a good one of you!”.

THAT’S A GOOD ONE OF ME??!

Don’t these people realise what they’re doing to we, the unphotogenic? Don’t they realise how their thoughtless comments hurt us so?

A word of advice, if you’re ever with anyone who looks at a photo of themselves and goes “oh, for god’s sake, nooo!” do not tell them the triple-chinned, hunchbacked monstrosity depicted in the image is a better than average photographic representation of them. Under no circumstances should you reveal that the wretched mockery of a human being in that picture is them on a good day. Don’t do it. That’s the kind of thing a person never gets over. Ever.

Instead just nod your head, suck air in sharply through your teeth and say, ”I know, you don’t look anything like that in real life”. They’ll thank you for it. Trust me.

I should probably start by apologising for not posting much recently.  Oh, sure, I stuck up a deeply unsettling video of my face stuck onto the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz, but that’s hardly quality content now, is it?

Actually, it’s probably better than 90% of the stuff on here, but let’s not dwell too much on that.

To be honest, the last month or so has been one big blur of dirty nappies, school visits, press interviews and sleepless nights. Oh, and some writing. Quite a lot of writing, actually, which is probably just as well considering what my job title is.

I visited a lot of schools in and around my home town, including my old school, Caol Primary. That was a very surreal, but utterly brilliant experience, and I left all the kids in the oldest class (Primary 7 in Scotland, no idea what it equates to in England and Wales) with proof copies of Mr Mumbles. I used to think the actual writing stuff was the best part of my job, but the more school visits I do the more I start to think maybe they’re the best bit about being a writer. It’s great to see kids getting excited about creating stories, and the ideas they come up with continue to amaze me.

Anyway, my visit to my old school caught the attention of a few newspapers and some of them ran articles on it, accompanied by the worst photographs of me I’ve ever seen in my life. Seriously, in these photos I look like the Elephant Man after a rather unfortunate accident with a high speed whisk. Definitely didn’t catch my best side.

Or maybe they did. God, that’s a worrying thought. Maybe “deformed Elephant Man” is a step up from my usual look. Cripes, I hope not.

Anyway, between the school visits and the hideousness I got a load of writing done. I’ve now finished and submitted the first proper draft of INVISIBLE FIENDS book 3.  It’s a big step up on the scary stakes and I’m almost certain I’ll be asked to tone it down in places. Still, it’s much better to go too far and have to pull back than not go far enough and always wonder if you could have gotten away with pushing it just a little bit more.

I had some other bits and bobs to write for Egmont after finishing book 3, but at the same time I was plotting out book 4. Now I’m VERY happy with the first three books in the IF series, but if book 4 comes out as good as the outline suggests it’s definitely going to be the best yet. It’s a big turning point in the series, and it’s completely different from any of the other five books. I’m excited about writing it, but a bit scared that I’ll muck it up at the same time. Still, that’s what rewrites are for.

That’s been about it. I’ve got plans to make another video blog, but finding time has been tricky so I haven’t got to it yet. I’ll do one as soon as I get a chance, honest.

A few weeks ago I was asked to give an interview for the website Tall Tales and Short Stories.  I agreed, and it’s now up on the site.  If you fancy finding out a bit more about me and how I got into this whole writing lark, click here to go and take a look.

A big thanks to Tracy at TTaSS for doing the interview.

Today I received a fantastic surprise in the mail – the proof copies of INVISIBLE FIENDS: MR MUMBLES, the first book in the horror series I’m writing for HarperCollins.

I took some photos of myself holding the book, but I haven’t shaved in a week and in every one I turned out looking like someone from a wanted poster.  So here’s a picture of the proof with Homer Simpson instead.  You’ll notice Homer is trying to demonstrate via body language just how utterly terrifying the story is…

In other news, a researcher for a Norwegian TV show contacted me today about Invisible Fiends and the Bologna Book Fair.

What an unusual day.

They might have at least spelled my name right …

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