Look, see for yourself in this hastily-snapped-on-my-mobile photograph:

I’m going to be running a competition to give some signed copies away very soon, so check back shortly, or keep an eye out for the #raggymaggie hashtag on Twitter, if you’re a Tweeter.

Oooh, I’m so excited!

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If you’ve got a few quid left over, though, or you don’t think you can cope with the horrors of Raggy Maggie, you could do worse than pick up these.

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Mr Mumbles' hat, Oz style

I’ve just realised that today is the 1st of June, which means today is the day Invisible Fiends: Mr Mumbles is published in Australia and New Zealand.

Now, I’ve never been to Australia or New Zealand, but I’d love to visit both. So, if you live in either country, please pop out and buy a copy (or several copies, if you want) so that the book is a massive success and I get to come over and do a tour.

The book should be available in most bookshops, but if you’re struggling to find it then take a look at the HarperCollins Australia site, which gives more details on where you can buy it in Australia. If you’re in New Zealand, you can find out the same information on HarperCollins New Zealand.

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Anyway, I now have randomly drawn a winner, using the age-old names in a hat technique, and the winner is Joanne B.

Thanks to all those who commented and took part in the competition. I’ll be running more giveaways soon, so maybe your luck will be better next time.

Right, it’s been a looooong day. Off to put my feet up. Next week I’ll be beginning a month crammed full of events, workshops and a tour, but more details of that in the next post.

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Being a naturally lazy person, with little or no inherent motivation to do anything that requires any effort whatsoever, getting to post 250 is a big achievement for me. It gives me hope that one day I might reach as many as 260, or even 285 posts! Can you imagine?

But let’s not get carried away. For now, let us enjoy post 250 for what it is – one post more than 249, and one less than 251. Look at it sitting there, all quarter-of-1000-esque in its charm and beauty.

Of course, 250 is a special number anyway. We all know there were 250 Munchkins in the Wizard of Oz (of which 4 didn’t commit suicide on set). There were 250 drafts of the script to Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, each one infinitely worse than the one before. And, of course, there are 250 days in a year, if you take away 115 other days first. It really is a special, almost magical number, which is why I feel it must be celebrated.

But how to celebrate? A party? My house isn’t big enough for all of you to come. A special plaque of some kind? No, that costs money, and I’m far too tight to spend any.

So how about a giveaway? Two giveaways, in fact?

THE GREAT 250th POST GIVEAWAY #1

You’ve probably heard about my children’s horror novel, the frankly brilliant Invisible Fiends: Mr Mumbles. Maybe you already have a copy. But do you have a signed one? Signed and dedicate to YOU? Or to someone else you know? Do you? No? Well then this is the giveaway for you.

One lucky winner (just one, mind) will win a signed and dedicated copy of the book. To enter, you just have to leave a comment on this post, making sure you include your correct email address so I can get in touch with you if you win. The comment can be anything you like, as long as it makes some kind of vague, coherent sense. No single word/single letter comments, please. Say hello. Chat about the weather. Tell me you love me (you don’t ever do that any more). Whatever. Just leave a comment and you’ll be entered into the draw. The winner will be drawn on 27th April.

THE GREAT 250th POST GIVEAWAY #2

But like I said, there can be only one winner of the signed book. For those of you who don’t win (and for the lucky so-and-so who does) I’m offering another book for you to download and enjoy for FREE!

This is one of my early attempts at writing a children’s book. It’s a comedy sci-fi adventure for 9-12 year olds, called Johnny B. Weeyerd and the Cosmic Annihilator. It has everything – aliens, super-powers, purple hot dogs – they’re all in there somewhere, waiting to titilate and excite your eyes. It’s a first draft, so it’s far from perfect, but hopefully it’s enjoyable all the same.

The file is in PDF format, so you’ll need Adobe Acrobat Reader to open it, but that comes as standard on most PCs, so you shouldn’t have any problems. You are free to download the ebook, read it, pass it on to your friends, whatever takes your fancy. Try selling it or profiting from it in any way, though, and I swear to the gods I will hunt you down and beat you with a rubber hose. Capiche?

Grab your copy of the ebook by clicking here. You might need to right click and select “Save Target As”, depending on how your browser is set up.

So that’s it for post 250. Get leaving those comments to be in with a chance of winning a copy of Mr Mumbles, and if you read JBW, be sure to let me know what you think.

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To be in with a chance of winning, just scoot along here and answer a simple question. Dead easy.

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Caddie watched us, unblinking. She lurked in the shadows, half concealed. I was just able to make out Raggy Maggie’s porcelain head poking out of a pocket on the front of her dress. From here it almost looked like the doll was smiling.

She took a sudden step closer. The shadows fell away and I realised her white dress was stained all over with streaks of blood.

Invisible Fiends: Raggy Maggie – published 5th August 2010. Click the cover to pre-order it now!

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Click on the covers below to be taken to each book’s page on LoveReading4Kids.co.uk.

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Lovely jubbly!

OK, here goes…

It’s never easy to tell someone you really don’t like something they’ve written. It’s even more difficult when you know that person. When you’re sharing an underground cave with them, surrounded by monsters? Then it’s a really unpleasant thing to have to do.

Luckily, then, I have to do no such thing, as CRAWLERS is perhaps the best book I’ve read this year.

Sometimes – very, very rarely – you come across a book that could have been written for you and you alone. Everything about it, from the initial concept to the execution of detail is exactly how you would want it to be, almost as if someone has reached inside your head, pulled out your mental wish-list, and set to work ticking off all the boxes.

For me, one such book is GONE by Michael Grant. Another – perhaps the only other – is CRAWLERS by Sam Enthoven.

A squirm-inducing schlock horror, CRAWLERS tells the story of eight children – four boys and four girls – who find themselves trapped in the Barbican Theatre by a horde of squidgy, slimy spider-like creatures. These horrible little beasties can latch on to a human host, placing the unsuspecting person completely under the control of the spider-creatures’ deliciously sinister queen.

Thrown together, the children must overcome their differences as they try to find a way to escape the theatre and avoid becoming slaves to the queen. But as tensions mount so their paranoia begins to grow, threatening to tear the group apart. Only two of the group – Jasmine and Ben – seem to have what it takes to pull the others through the ordeal, and they must do all they can to force the others to listen to them before it’s too late.

I read most of the book on the train to Newcastle last week, en route to the Reading Partners event at the Newcastle City Library (more on that soon, honest). I became so engrossed in the story that I didn’t once look up to even glance out of the window. That’s because this book is exactly like the creatures featured in its pages – it creeps up on you and sinks it hooks right into you. After that, it has you. Your will is no longer your own, and you must keep reading to find out what happens next.

What I love most about this book – and what I love about all of Sam’s books – is that you can tell how much fun he had writing it. I can actually picture him sitting at the desk, cackling excitedly to himself as he came up with increasingly horrific ways in which to torture his cast of characters. He’s a sick, sick man, and I for one am eternally grateful for that fact.

Part Alien, part Invasion of the Body Snatchers, 100% flippin’ brilliant. Be sure to catch CRAWLERS when it is published in April, because if you don’t the Crawlers may well catch you.

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