BarryHutchison

Yesterday, my proper job called for me to go to Inverness – a 140 mile round trip along some of the most rubbish roads in the UK.

While there I found myself with some time to kill, and so headed out to the multiplex on the outskirts of the city, where I watched The Incredible Hulk.  It was all right.  Not brilliant, but all right.

The best thing about the experience was that for the first time ever I was sitting on my own in a completely empty cinema.  Not another living soul was there in the room, so I managed to watch the film without being subjected to the coughing, whispering, munching and bag rustling of the mindless plebs who always seem to congregate around me during my cinema outings.

I emerged, blinking into the sunlight afterwards and immediately checked my email on my phone, because I’m obsessive compulsive when it comes to email.  If I don’t check it once every twenty minutes I break out in red, swollen hives all over my body.

Anyway, sitting in my tiny, hand-held inbox was an email from my agent, Kathryn.  She was writing to let me know that a major publisher is interested in one of my manuscripts. It’s early days, but it’s encouraging all the same.

So far my day’s good/bad ratio was heavily in my favour.  I was cruising.  It felt like one of those days where nothing could possibly go wrong.

And then something went terribly, terribly wrong.

I lost my wallet.  My wallet which contained all my cards, my driving license, and over 300 lovely quid in cash.  Somewhere between the cinema and the town centre, I misplaced it.

Frantically, I retraced my steps, but there was no sign of the thing.  I’d taken a bus back into town, and the realisation hit me like a sledgehammer to the groin:  I’d left it on the bus.

I phoned the depot, explained to them that I had no idea what number of bus I’d taken, what time I’d got on it at, the number of the bus stop, or any of that, and then asked them to find my wallet. 

After two and a half hours, it became apparent they weren’t going to track it down, despite the best efforts of a lovely man named Graham.  Or possibly Graeme.  I didn’t catch the spelling.

None of the dozen or so buses I stopped and searched had the wallet on board, either.  I had to accept it.  My hard earned pennies were lost.  Gone.  Forever.

As a last resort, I called the police, on the off change someone had handed it in.  They hadn’t.

And so began the task of sorting through the wreckage.  I’d have to get a new driver’s license organised ASAP, as that was going to be one of my photo IDs for opening a bank account in Ireland.  And the bank cards would need to be cancelled, of course.  That was the priority.

So, with the weight of the world firmly on my shoulders, I trudged off in search of a branch of my bank, eventually spotting one down a narrow side street.

With my head hanging somewhere around my abdomen, and my feet dragging along the ground, I headed down the side street.

Half way along it, I spotted a bus stopped at traffic lights.  At the exact moment my mind translated the big silver shape into the word ‘bus’, I heard a sharp knocking on glass.

The driver of the bus was chapping on the window and pointing urgently in my direction.  Then he did something wondrous.  Something which has given me a taste of what it would be like to beleive in the divine.

He held up my wallet.

I never got a chance to ask him how he’d found it, or even to thank him properly.  As he handed me the wallet, the doors began to close with a hiss, and the lights changed to green.  With a friendly wave, he drove off, leaving me standing there, agape but delighted that I had my wallet back.

So I make that three out of three on the Good Things chart.  Empty cinema, positive book response, miraculous return of lost possession.  That’s definitely three.  Losing it doesn’t count, as that could have happened to anyone …

To make things even better, though, when I got home and checked my email I discovered I’ve won half a million pounds on the Nigerian lottery – and I’ve never even entered it!  Talk about a lucky streak.

I’ve sent off my bank details, date of birth, Mother’s maiden name, and colour scans of my passport as requested, so I expect to get my winnings any day now!

Things are definitely looking up!