Although I’m 100% sure I’ve mentioned the fact before, for the purposes of completeness let me mention again that I have a son who recently turned six. He is in his first year of primary education, and has been doing fantastically well. In particular, he is excelling at reading and writing, desipte the fact that the English language makes ABSOLUTELY NO LOGICAL SENSE WHATSOEVER.
I’d heard people mention before how difficult spelling in English is, but I’ve dismissed them with a wave of my big, arrogant hands. Spelling is easy. It’s all just putting the letters the right way round, isn’t it? How hard can it be?
Recently, I’ve been called on to explain to my son why certain words sound the way they do. During these discussions I have found myself floundering, dazed and confused, as I attempt to explain why “light” may sound the same as “bite”, but are spelled differently.
The fact of the matter is, though, I have no idea. Why does “ight” make the same sound as “ite”? Why does it need an extra E for it to make the same sound in the word “height”, but not in “sight” or “might”? Why do we also spell the word “might” as “mite”?
It gets worse when we start discussing the letter A. I mean “wall”? That’s an O sound in the middle, surely? As in “gangster’s moll”? Add “pl” to the middle of “Ape” and it becomes “Apple”, complete with an entirely different sound at the start.
Then there’s the “ee” sound, which can also be produced using “ea” and “ie”. And, of course, the “oo” sound – different but the same in “pool” and “pull”. Let’s not forget, though, that the letter combination “oo” can also make an “oh” sound – as in “door”, or a hard “U” sound, as in “blood”. When spelling the word “mud”, however, the traditional letter “U” should be used in order to make the exact same sound as the “oo” in “blood”.
Confused? It just gets worse. “Time” sounds like “rhyme” which sounds not unlike “climb”. Can you “vote” on a “boat”? If I “die” will you ”cry”? Is there “foam” in your “home”?
Sorry, I (eye) don’t quite know (no) where (wear) I was going with those questions. The complexity of the English language must have temporarily addled my mind (mined). My apologies (apologee– Actually, forget that one).
Anyway, despite the ludicrous nature of English spelling, my young ‘un seems to be grasping it, even if he does have to settle for the answer “look, just because, okay?” when he asks me to explain the finer nuances of it all.
Twitter Updates
May 31, 2008 at 8:11 am
I can totally sympathize with you on this one! Daughter number one attends a school where they speak/read/write in Dutch (well, we live in Holland, so that’s not all that strange). Thing is, she’s doing fine there. In fact, she’s doing really, really well (the top reader in her class!).
But, we have to teach her to read in English at home. AHH! I’ve had to try to explain all of those strange spellings and “rules” without the fallback of being able to say “Well, that’s what your teacher says, right?”
Fortunately, she seems to be doing pretty well in English, too. She just turned 8, and she’s reading the Hobbit. Now there’s another set of strange words!
June 2, 2008 at 1:06 pm
I take it you already know,
Of tough and bough and cough and dough.
Others may stumble, but not you,
On hiccough, thorough, laugh and through.
Well done! And now you wish, perhaps,
To learn of less familiar traps.
Beware of heard, a dreadful word,
That looks like beard and sounds like bird.
And dead – it’s said like bed, not bead,
For goodness’ sake, don’t call it ‘deed’!
Watch out for meat and great and threat,
(They rhyme with suite and straight and debt).
A moth is not a moth in mother,
Nor both in bother, broth in brother.
And here is not a match for there,
Nor dear and fear for bear and pear.
And then there’s dose and rose and lose –
Just look them up – and goose and choose.
And cork and work and card and ward,
And font and front and word and sword.
And do and go and thwart and cart –
Come, come, I’ve hardly made a start!
A dreadful language? Why man alive!
I’d mastered it when I was five.
June 5, 2008 at 12:05 pm
The weird spelling is mostly because English is a total mixture of Anglo-saxon germanic with lots of Old French , Latin and Greek added in and stuff from other languages too.
July 14, 2008 at 12:01 am
trust witch to steal the joy from mr v – with possibly the best ever poem about random englishness.
Typical witch – he’s right at the same time. But what he meant was english is essentially an eqaul parts latinate/germanic cross. Which is why everyone can understand us (if not the spelling) but we can’t understand anyone else – cos we only get half of their language structure.
Either that or we are lazy monoglots…