BarryHutchison.com

The following comment was posted anonymously yesterday on my post about me selling books on eBay and Amazon.  I think it brings up a valid point, and is worth discussing here:

you do see the irony in running a campaign to support your local bookshop while flogging a whole pile of books on web-based auction sites yeee-eees?

I think this may be my fault for describing what I’m doing as a “business”.  In fact, what I’m doing is getting rid of a load of old books and other stuff that is cluttering my house, in an attempt to make some room for all those things a baby apparently needs – cot, pram and the like.

So, essentially I have about 200 books or so I’m planning to get rid of, along with loads of other bits and bobs – from video games to comics – and I’m listing these anywhere I think I may be able to sell them.  Do I think this hurts independent bookshops?

I hope not – at least, no more than people selling books at car boot sales does, anyway.  You can buy second hand books in a vast number of places – car boot/jumble sales, charity shops, classified ads, etc – and this has always been the case.

So, let’s say I took all these books to a car boot sale, where the going price would be about 50p per book.  Considering most of the books have never been read and are ‘as new’ this would be MASSIVELY undercutting pretty much every bookshop in the land.

Listing the books on eBay or Amazon, I’m putting them up at much closer to their actual value.  Once postage is added, it could well be cheaper for a buyer to get their book at a local bookshop, meaning I’m no longer undercutting them.  Also, if you look at the books I’m selling, most of them are either out of print, or very hard to find.  Is your local bookshop likely to have out of print titles from the 1960s or 1970s?  Possibly, but possibly not.

Like I said at the start of this post, the commenter raises a valid point.  I do see the irony in me trying to encourage people to use their local bookshop while selling books myself online.  I still say local bookshops offer much, much more than an online retailer can, and if it’s a choice between buying one of my books on the web, or getting the same title from a local shop, buy local without any hesitation.

But it’s the buying of books which is the important thing, regardless of where you get them.  If, like me, you live over a hundred miles from your nearest independently run bookshop, I encourage you to buy your books from wherever you can get them – whether that be a chain store, a charity shop, a car boot sale or on the internet.

I hope that answers the anonymous poster’s comment.  I’d love to hear what other readers of this blog think, though.  Maybe you agree that I shouldn’t be selling books online?  Drop me a comment and let me know.

Just been reading a very interesting article about a ‘mobile marketing pilot programme’ being launched by HarperCollins in the US, Canada and Australia, which allows people to scan a book’s barcode with their mobile phone, and then be taken to a special website full of content about the book and author.

The scheme is being piloted with L.A. Candy by Lauren Conrad, and anyone scanning the book’s barcode on their web enabled mobile phone will be presented with a range of content, including videos, Q&As and other stuff.

Setting the system up on your mobile requires a software download, so I’m not sure how many people will actually go to all the bother, but it’s an interesting idea, and a great way of bringing book marketing into the 21st century.  Who knows, maybe it’ll be rolled out across some title here in the UK by the time INVISIBLE FIENDS is out.  Now that would be cool.

The full press release on the trial scheme follows…

HARPERCOLLINS PUBLISHERS ANNOUNCES MOBILE MARKETING PILOT PROGRAM

NEW YORK, NY (June 10, 2009) - HarperCollins Publishers today announced plans to launch a viral mobile initiative using 2D barcodes, a new technology that links the print world to mobile. The codes, located on the back of book jackets and on marketing materials, will link to a mobile site, with exclusive content about the authors and book.

The promotion kicks off in the U.S., Canada, and Australia, with L.A. Candy, by Lauren Conrad, on sale June 16, 2009. To access the content, users simply download a free application (http://m.harpercollins.com) to their smart phone and take a picture of the 2D barcode. Whether standing in line at her upcoming signings, or viewing the jacket at a bookstore, fans can access a video of Lauren, a Q&A with her, or share the new site with their friends via SMS. The site can also be accessed directly at http://lacandy.mobi.

“We are excited about the potential of 2D barcodes for the teen market. Teens use their mobile phones for everything from texting to updating their Facebook pages; this is one more way we can offer them content to share with their friends,” said Susan Katz, President and Publisher of HarperCollins Children’s Books. “HarperCollins is committed to reaching readers where they are, regardless of the device or platform, and a mobile marketing platform is a natural next step.”

Powered by QMCodes, a mobile-marketing company, HarperCollins will create a unique Web site for each book in the pilot program. The code for the paperback version of Freakonomics, on sale August 25, will include exclusive content related to the book and to the fall publication of Superfreakonomics. Additionally, HarperTeen’s The Amanda Project, a collaborative, interactive series that is both printed book and online adventure, will incorporate the codes to further extend the experience.

“It is early days for 2D barcodes in the U.S., so there will be an education process. But, there’s no doubt that mobile entertainment is growing by leaps and bounds, and book content should be part of that shift,” added Katz.

About HarperCollins Publishers
HarperCollins, one of the largest English-language publishers in the world, is a subsidiary of News Corporation (NYSE: NWS, NWS.A; ASX: NWS, NWSLV). Headquartered in New York, HarperCollins has publishing groups around the world including the HarperCollins General Books Group, HarperCollins Children’s Books Group, Zondervan, HarperCollins UK, HarperCollins Canada, HarperCollins Australia/New Zealand and HarperCollins India. HarperCollins is a broad-based publisher with strengths in literary and commercial fiction, business books, children’s books, cookbooks, mystery, romance, reference, religious and spiritual books. With nearly 200 years of history HarperCollins has published some of the world’s foremost authors and has won numerous awards including the Nobel Prize, the Pulitzer Prize and National Book Award, the Newbery Medal and the Caldecott. Consistently at the forefront of innovation and technological advancement, HarperCollins is the first publisher to digitize its content and create a global digital warehouse to protect the rights of its authors, meet consumer demand and generate additional business opportunities. You can visit HarperCollins Publishers on the Internet at http://www.harpercollins.com.

I’d like to talk about something serious for a moment.  It’s an issue which affects us all, particularly now that the sun is shining and Summer is officially here.

I’d like, if I may, to talk about water pistols.

Once upon a time, I used to love a water fight.  Running around with a bunch of friends, firing at each other with small, but well-aimed squirts of tepid tap-water – it was great fun, and most of my memories of childhood summers feature water fights in one way or another.

Back then, pretty much every water pistol was a variation on the one on the left there.  They were, as the name suggested, water pistols, holding anywhere between a large mouth and a small cup full of H2O.  Invariably, they’d leak out of the bottom of the handle, but we didn’t care.  We’d fill ‘er up, run outside, empty the clip into a friend’s laughing face, then nip back inside for a refill.

They were happy days.  They were innocent days.  They were days filled with slightly damp t-shirts that dried off within 30 seconds of angling the wet bit to face the sunshine.

For years – decades – the flimsy handheld water gun provided hours of entertainment for children everywhere.  And then, one fateful day in 1990, everything changed.  A small toy company called Larami did something that would send shockwaves around the world.  Something that would change the face of water fighting forever, and begin a street-level arms race between children everywhere.

What did they do?  They released this:

Originally branded The Power Drencher, the monstrosity above underwent a name change the following year, when it was dubbed The Super Soaker 50.

It revolutionised water fights.  No longer were they fun-filled free-for-alls between bunches of laughing kids.  Now, whoever could convince their parents to splash out on one of these had a massive upper hand.  No more tiny spurts of water, the Super Soaker 50 could blast an arc of water over 50 feet (hence the name).  No longer did the shooter have to run inside and hastily refill.  The pressurised reservoir on this bad boy held enough ammo to take out half the estate, while still leaving enough over to provide a refreshing, if slightly plasticky drink on the way home.

Whoever had the Super Soaker had the power, and as soon as one made it into your circle of friends, water fights were never quite as much fun ever again.  Unless you were the one with the pump action water cannon in your hands, in which case your enjoyment levels went through the roof.

And that may well have been the end of it, had the Super Soaker 50 not proved to be such a roaring success.  Newer, more advanced Super Soakers began to appear on the market, promising new and interesting ways to drench everyone you’d ever met.

There were Super Soakers with two tanks, Super Soakers with four tanks.  Super Soakers that could shoot round corners, and Super Soakers you could cunningly set up to blast the shooter in the face, for those times you relented and gave your friends a shot of your next generation water-based weaponry.

And with each new water blaster that emerged, the entertainment factor of the battles continued to slide.  Those little squirts of water were fun.  Getting hit point blank in the face by a blast powerful enough to tear your skin from your cheeks?  Not so much.

Kids who didn’t have Super Soakers suddenly had to get one, just to be able to mount some kind of defence.  Those who couldn’t convince their parents to stump up the cash spent all their time either dripping wet, living in constant fear or fleeing for their very lives.

And then, in 2005, the next evolutionary step happened.  A step which I believe will one day lead to the death of the water fight.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Super Soaker: Arctic Shock.

For those of you unfamiliar with this water gun, the clue’s in the name.  This doesn’t just hold water.  Oh, no.  This holds water inside a compartment with a core of ice.

No longer do combatants run the risk of simply having holes punched clean through their heads by high pressure water blasts.  Now they also have to contend with the fact that said water is frickin’ freezing.

If you’ve never been on the receiving end of a blast from one of these things, you can’t ever fully understand what it’s like.  I can only liken it to being stabbed by an icicle.  I live in the Highlands of Scotland, so I’m no stranger to chilly weather, but the water in these things reaches whole new levels of cold.

As soon as the water hits, all the air leaves your body in one sharp, spluttered breath.  An area of about thirty centimetres around where you were struck becomes instantly drenched, and so whatever clothing you are wearing sticks to your skin, amplifying the numbing, gnawing cold a thousand times over, until you’re not sure if you’ve been hit by water or a stream of liquid nitrogen.

You stagger wildly.  Noises come out of your mouth – noises you’ve never heard before.  Noises which will haunt you for the rest of your life.  You try to breathe, but your chest is heaving and your body is shaking and you realise you’re slipping into shock.  You wonder how your face got wet, and then you realise – it’s because you’re crying.  Sobbing so uncontrollably that you don’t even notice the person who shot you taking aim at some other unprotected area of your body.

The second shot sends you over the edge.  A deep-rooted survival instinct kicks in and you lash out, desperately trying to get your hands on the gun, to stop them shooting you, to end the pain.  You find yourself shouting and swearing.  You’re no longer playing a game, you’re out for blood.  For vengeance.  And nothing will stand in your way.

Now, I have a seven-year-old son, and we used to have regular water fights, until he got an Arctic Shock.  One blast from that thing, and I’m out for the day.  I’ll be in bed with a flannel over my face, wishing I’d never been born, thanks very much.

Likewise, on those occasions I’ve seen my son or any of his friends struck by one of the freezing jets of water, it has ended in floods of tears.  Which begs the question, if no-one can stand to be hit by it, what’s the point?

I’ve come to the conclusion that the Super Soaker: Arctic Shock is the nuclear weapon of water pistols.  If every child in the world had one, no water fights would ever take place again.  The first time you’re on the receiving end becomes the victim’s very own Hiroshima.  You experience first-hand the damage the thing can do, and you decide then and there that you never ever want it to happen again.  You buy your own Arctic Blast, hoping to never have to use it, but knowing that the fact you own it at all will act as a deterrent for those who would otherwise Arctic Blast you without remorse.

Want to know more about the history of the Super Soaker?  Check out iSoaker.com.

It has been an eventful few days, all in all.

On Tuesday, I paid a visit to Fort William RC Primary, where I ran my storywriting workshop for a few classes.  They were a great bunch, full of ideas, and I was made to feel very welcome by everyone.  A local photographer popped in to take some pics, so as soon as I can get my grubby mitts on one, I’ll post it here.  Unless I look dead fat, or that, in which case I’ll say all the photos were burned in a fire.

EDIT:  The photo arrived.  I do look quite fat, and my hair appears to have been sculpted from rigid plastic, but I’m posting it anyway.

Me and some of the kids at Fort William RC Primary

Yesterday, I was given my first glimpse of the cover for INVISIBLE FIENDS: MR MUMBLES.  It’s absolutely brilliant – a stunning piece of artwork in its own right – and I’m not lying when I say the image of Mr Mumbles cropped up in my nightmares last night!  Amazingly creepy art by the amazingly talented Jonny Duddle.  I’ll be revealing the cover here as soon as I can, so keep checking back to see it for yourself.

I also found out some more interesting info recently – about a foreign rights sale, and a possible change of publishing date (meaning the book would come out a bit sooner than February 2010).  Can’t say too much about it at the minute, though, so you’ll just have to wait for that, too!

In my continued attempts to clear my house of unnecessary clutter before the new baby comes along (11 weeks and counting!) I’ve decided to try listing some books on Amazon.

It’s a complete random mixed bag, and includes not only my own books, but some I smuggled from my parents’ house when they weren’t looking.  I did this on the basis that if I clear some more space in their house, I can stick a load of my own stuff in the place of the stuff of their’s that I’ve sold.  Genius, eh?

Anyway, here’s the link to my Amazon Store.

Further to my eBay related post yesterday, I’ve listed a few more books today – including books 3 and 4 in the Ben 10 storybooks series, which I am happy to dedicate and sign for buyers.

Check out my current listings by going here.

In an attempt to clear away some of the stacks and stacks of books I’ve collected over the years, and so make room for the rapidly approaching arrival of child number two, I’ve started up an eBay business.  My username is newandusedbooks, so no prizes for guessing what I’m doing.

Today I listed the first little batch of titles.  There’s a range of stuff in there, from zombie horror to writing tips, and I’ll be adding more on a daily basis.

If you want to do your bit to support my new enterprise (and in doing so help me clear some space for a pram, cot, etc, etc) go check out my current listings and, if you’re feeling generous, add me as a favourite seller.

Thanks to Mr Ripley of the excellent Mr Ripley’s Enchanted Books, I managed to get my hands on a proof copy of Charlie Higson’s new teen novel – The Enemy.

Look, here it is here…

I sat down to read this book last night, and didn’t move from that spot until I finished it some time after 3am. No matter how many times I told myself I’d read “just one more chapter”, I kept turning those pages, desperate to find out how the story ended.

But before I go into full-on gushing praise mode, here’s the official blurb:

Book synopsis

They’ll chase you. They’ll rip you open. They’ll feed on you… When the sickness came, every parent, policeman, politician – every adult – fell ill. The lucky ones died. The others are crazed, confused and hungry.

Only children under fourteen remain, and they’re fighting to survive. Now there are rumours of a safe place to hide. And so a gang of children begin their quest across London, where all through the city – down alleyways, in deserted houses, underground – the grown-ups lie in wait. But can they make it there – alive?

The synopsis really only pays lip-service to the story, though, as there are several strands running throughout the books – some of which tie up at the end, while others are left wide open for future books (of which I hope there are many).

On one level, this is a zombie story for teens, packed with rotting flesh, shuffling cadavers, and some scenes of full-scale gore. At its heart, though, this is a story about what it means to be a teenager, finding your own way in the world, and learning exactly who you are.

It is populated by a large cast of characters – some instantly likeable, others just the opposite, but all well-drawn and three-dimensional – and their interactions as friendships develop (and often crumble) sets this book well above the average horror novel.

Characters die – real characters, you’ve come to root for – and tragedy fills almost every chapter, but there’s a rip-roaring adventure in there, too, which will have you cheering almost as much as it’ll have you gasping with shock.

This is without question one of my favourite books ever, and it if isn’t an instant smash when it is released in September, I’ll welcome the zombie apocalypse with open arms.

Dear People of Earth,

I wanted to pen a quick letter in order to introduce myself to those of you who don’t know me, and to inform you all of a few of the changes I shall be making now that I have assumed total and absolute control of the planet formerly known as “Earth”, and hereafter known as “Kenny Loggins”.

Many of you may be asking why I have elected to rename the planet after the man behind the theme tune to the 1984 hit movie “Footloose”.  This is your first mistake.  The will of Barry must be obeyed without question or hesitation.  It’s called Kenny Loggins, just deal with it.

So as to avoid any confusion with Kenny Loggins the planet, Kenny Loggins the popular recording artist has been eliminated, and refunds for his scheduled June 2009 concerts in Paris, France may be obtained from the original ticket provider.

Before I go any further I’d like to take the opportunity to respond to some of the rumours which have been circulating about myself and my regime, and hopefully put your minds to rest a little.

Firstly, I am not an unfair man.  Far from it, in fact.  I believe each and every man, woman and child on Kenny Loggins was created equal, and each should be allowed to fully express their opinion on any subject, regardless of what those opinions may be.  Naturally, should any of these opinions cast aspersions upon my leadership, then I shall be remorseless and unrelenting in the pursuit of vengeance.  I shall, however, continue to defend your right to these opinions even as your family mourn their loss.

Secondly, I do not have an “Enforcement Team” authorised to force entry into your houses and places of work in order to investigate suspected plotting against me.  This is – quite frankly – utterly ludicrous, as any such team would find it impossible to match the efficiency of the surveillance devices already installed in key locations throughout your homes.  While a more sadistic ruler would neglect to do so, I feel it only fair to inform you that any attempt to tamper with these devices will result in the instant and explosive deaths of everyone within a five hundred metre radius of your location.

Lastly, I do not possess any freakish mutant abilities, nor am I immortal, despite what Alan Jackson of Denver told visitors to his Stapleton area sandwich bar, up until his recent crucifixion.  Research is continuing in this area, however, and I shall be sure to keep you all up to date with the progress.  Until sufficient advances can be made my brain shall continue to reside within the virtually indestructible android body it currently inhabits.  Those of you wishing to see for yourselves what my robotic frame looks like can find it depicted on all Kenny Loggins currency, and on the fifty foot high billboards currently being erected on every street corner.

Now that we’ve cleared all that up, let’s take a few minutes to review the main changes due to take place over the coming weeks and months.  For more information on any of the below you should refer to pamphlet B17-A: The Unquestionable Will of Barry and Your Role in its Fulfillment which, if you’d care to step outside, you will find nailed to your front door.  Should you have any difficulty complying with or adjusting to any of the guidelines detailed in the document, please do not hesitate to approach a member of one of my Recalibration Squads for assistance.  These Recalibration Squads may be identified by their distinctive yellow and red uniforms, their “RS” chest emblems, and their shoulder mounted rectal drills. They will be happy to assist you in any way they can.

Some of the changes  we all have to look forward to include the following:

1. The entire population of the planet shall be assessed and scored firstly according to intellect, wit and ability, and secondly according to dress sense and cultural taste, and all citizens shall be allocated a group – A, B or C – according to the results of these tests.  In order to ensure the future survival of the human race, Group A shall be allowed to continue more or less as they are, while members of Group B shall be sterilised immediately.  The people making up the third and final group shall be thrown screaming into the enormous furnace currently being constructed at Kenny Loggins’ core.  The combustion created by the flaming corpses of Group C shall be used to power several major cities, thereby reducing the drain on rapidly diminishing supplies of fossil fuels.
2. The nation of Norway will be evacuated in order to make room for everyone on the planet between the ages of 15 and 19, who are to be shipped there as soon as logistics permit, and until such times as they are fit to be reintroduced to the populace at large.  ElectroShock bracelets shall be fitted to them upon entering Norway, partly to maintain discipline, partly for their own safety and protection, but largely for my own amusement.
3. The long running television programme “Hollyoaks” will be cancelled and everyone involved in its production put to death.  In its place will be shown brutal and harrowing footage of “Saved By the Bell” actor Dustin Diamond being repeatedly mauled by a frenzied pack of starving Dobermans.
4. All religions are now outlawed, and anyone found to be practicing religion of any kind shall be trapped inside a slowly compacting and entirely transparent airtight cube with their horrified family, a live studio audience, and every television camera in existence watching helplessly on.
5. All written texts shall be altered to remove any trace of the phrase “Shania Twain”.  Likewise all audio or visual recordings of Ms Twain will be incinerated in the hottest fire ever witnessed by the eyes of man.  As a merciful ruler I shall allow Ms Twain herself to live, on the understanding she changes her name, goes into hiding, and never utters another sound for the remainder of her natural life.
6. The people of Belgium may no longer celebrate Christmas.
7. Nor may they celebrate anything else.
8. Each night, at a random time between the hours of 1 and 5am a high pitched alarm will sound within your homes to signal the beginning of Exercise Hour.  Sixty minutes of gruelling exercise shall follow, monitored at all times by your in house surveillance systems.  Those failing to take part in Exercise Hour shall be immediately trampled by a number of previously concealed cows.  Fat people are of little use to me.
9. Any and all future sequels, prequels or spin-offs of the movie comedy “Miss Congeniality” are expressly forbidden.
10. UK TV personality, Sir Jimmy Saville, shall be returned to his home world to face trial for a number of crimes he committed there before fleeing to Kenny Loggins in the early 1960’s.

Thank you for accepting you had no choice whatsoever in whether to read this correspondence or not.  Your compliance continues to make life easier – and longer – for all of you.

Warmest Regards,

Barry Hutchison (Ruler)

What with me writing children’s books, I also read a lot of children’s books.  What’s more, I read a lot about children’s books – mostly on the wondrous web of this net we call ‘inter’.

There are lots of websites about children’s books – far too many to mention – but one of my favourites is a relative newcomer to the field – Mr Ripley’s Enchanted Books.

For me, what elevates the site above a lot of others is the range and variety of articles it runs.  Yes, there are reviews and previews, but there are also interviews and some more journalistic features, including this one about digital artist, Melvyn Grant.  I love the fact that the site is celebrating a cover artist – often the most overlooked of contributors to a book’s success, but arguably the most important – and the article itself makes for an interesting read.

The site was only launched in November 2008, but it’s filling up fast.  So, if you’re looking for information about children’s books, you could do a lot worse than check the site out.